mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He kissed a someone with a penis
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
