I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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