McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
is that a dick in a sweater?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize