whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
