her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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