found the other keg... it's in the tree
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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