'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she peed on how many people?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
