i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
