My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
