So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
