you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
