Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
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