i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
