Buhtt sex?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
