dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
