WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
