White coat. Heels.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize