Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
