NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
