sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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