somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize