I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
