I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i would punch a child for taco bell
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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