i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
BRING THE BAGELS
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize