She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
NoShamevember. You game?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
