I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
