The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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