I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
