Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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