Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
