I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge