Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??