You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.