Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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