Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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