I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
