haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just want to make out with him forever
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
