The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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