awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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