Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
