i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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