Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
