Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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