Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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