Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
