Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
