Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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