Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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