it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
