Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
