He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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