No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
