I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
