lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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