I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
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