If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
