Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We don't watch enough power rangers
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
