Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
