i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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