One girl and one boy is just not enough.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
