How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
