So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
