it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
