Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
