"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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