I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
