i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
