you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
