I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
